I know I haven’t blogged for a while. My mom discovered this blog while she was on my computer, and found the post in which I called her “tight and prudish.” She literally said she felt like she was stabbed in the chest. My mom is VERY sensitive. Obviously I felt bad about it, and things have been smoothed over.
If my mom was tight with money, it was because we really didn’t have much. She was in nursing school through a lot of my childhood, and her parents supported us (my dad also paid child support). She said many times “we saved up for the big things!” (Also, “there weren’t any fairs near us!”) I had a bike, and toys, and when I was older we took trips – Washington DC, Boston, England. Compared to many kids I had a good childhood.
I didn’t want her to think I am ungrateful, or spoiled, or bitter about what my childhood was like. I knew what the circumstances were. I was sometimes lonely, and felt maybe a wee bit neglected in certain parts, and went through some issues. I guess that was what I was trying to get at in my post – like most parents, I want to tweak what my experiences were as a kid into what I would have wanted. I feel lucky my kids have an affectionate, doting, interested father, and that even though they don’t get EVERYTHING they want, they aren’t wanting. My kids adore their grandma too, and grandma adores them. We have the time and resources to give them a lot of attention. That is more important to me than going to a carnival.